A group of students thinking and learning and writing together.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
is too much technology hurting american teenagers?
Is too much technology hurting American teenagers? Though technology is good, too much of it can American teenagers be it their health, social life, education. After all, too much of something is poisonous.
John, you have a good topic. I think there is some grammar mistakes. For example,"too much of it can American teenagers be it their health",you can change to"too much of it can hurt American teenagers their health". for the last sentence, why not change "something" to "technology"?
I agree with Liu about the first sentence. My suggestion would be, "too much of it can have a negative effect on American teenagers, be it their health..." I think the second sentence is not necessary and too inflammatory for a thesis. I recommend deleting it.
It is a short, convenient and good thesis, it include author's opinion and use a proverb to help with the fact.
ReplyDeleteJohn, you have a good topic. I think there is some grammar mistakes. For example,"too much of it can American teenagers be it their health",you can change to"too much of it can hurt American teenagers their health". for the last sentence, why not change "something" to "technology"?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Liu about the first sentence. My suggestion would be, "too much of it can have a negative effect on American teenagers, be it their health..." I think the second sentence is not necessary and too inflammatory for a thesis. I recommend deleting it.
ReplyDelete