A group of students thinking and learning and writing together.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Should we still have discrimination in sports?
Because athletes with disabilities or AIDS/HIV or black people are equal with the rest of athletes, people should not support athletes being separated or discriminated.
You have the right idea, but your thesis needs to be more assertive. "People should not support this" is not controversial. You should take a stronger stance by saying "There should be rules against this" or something stronger. Also, I think you will need to choose one form of discrimination or your paper will be too broad!
Nice and short thesis, but consider going through it again and correct some grammar mistakes.
ReplyDeleteThe topic is good, but i think you should put some more your thought in it.
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job. I don't think there is nothing need to change.
ReplyDeleteYou have the right idea, but your thesis needs to be more assertive. "People should not support this" is not controversial. You should take a stronger stance by saying "There should be rules against this" or something stronger. Also, I think you will need to choose one form of discrimination or your paper will be too broad!
ReplyDelete