A group of students thinking and learning and writing together.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thesis Statement
Because the youth are so impressionable and can easily suffer psychological trauma due to body image issues, the fashion industry should ban the hiring of anorexic and underweight models.
Good thesis statement. You use two sentences to express your main idea. After I finished reading your statement, I know what you are going to talk about and what should we do to solve the problem.
I think it is a good topic,in this topic,you state that zhe anorexic and underweitht models should be banned by the fashion industry. however,I think you should also describe the debate between the two sides. for example,you could ask should the anorexic and underweight models be banned by the fashion industry.
I think this is an excellent thesis statement. It is a little wordy, and I have second thoughts about my recommendation to insert "psychological." You might consider deleting this or the phrase "psychological trauma"
Because the youth are so impressionable and can easily suffer due to body image issues, the fashion industry should ban the hiring of anorexic and underweight models.
Good thesis statement. You use two sentences to express your main idea.
ReplyDeleteAfter I finished reading your statement, I know what you are going to talk about and what should we do to solve the problem.
I think it is a good topic,in this topic,you state that zhe anorexic and underweitht models should be banned by the fashion industry. however,I think you should also describe the debate between the two sides. for example,you could ask should the anorexic and underweight models be banned by the fashion industry.
ReplyDeleteI think this is an excellent thesis statement. It is a little wordy, and I have second thoughts about my recommendation to insert "psychological." You might consider deleting this or the phrase "psychological trauma"
ReplyDeleteBecause the youth are so impressionable and can easily suffer due to body image issues, the fashion industry should ban the hiring of anorexic and underweight models.
ReplyDelete