A group of students thinking and learning and writing together.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thesis Statement
business students in the university should start their own business because they have a lot of advantages term from school and society to help them and start their own business will help them to become independent.
well you have a good statement but you need to bring it out in a more concise manner. I think if you rearrange your words you will come up with a better thesis for example: because students who start business in school have a greater advantage over those who do not.Business students should be allowed to start their own business while in school.
You have the right ingredients here but you need to make the wording more concise and powerful. Teejay gives you a good example, but please try to rewrite it on your own.
Should business students in university start their own business?
In the school, it is more easier to get useful information, and they are more free than after they leave school. So the business students should start their own business during the time they are in the school
The question: Should business students in university start their own business?
ReplyDeletewell you have a good statement but you need to bring it out in a more concise manner. I think if you rearrange your words you will come up with a better thesis for example: because students who start business in school have a greater advantage over those who do not.Business students should be allowed to start their own business while in school.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree with your point,this statement should give more deeper opinion to support your point
ReplyDeleteYou have the right ingredients here but you need to make the wording more concise and powerful. Teejay gives you a good example, but please try to rewrite it on your own.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteShould business students in university start their own business?
ReplyDeleteIn the school, it is more easier to get useful information, and they are more free than after they leave school. So the business students should start their own business during the time they are in the school